Lessons Learned, Changed Views on Mental Health

I was in therapy from age 8 up to about 14. My parents put me in it because of these anger issues I had — I would snap at my parents and my friends sometimes and it was pretty bad.

But as a kid, I was really against going to therapy, just the whole idea of it. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me, and I just didn’t like the idea of someone else having to fix my problems. I was stubborn. I just wanted to fix them myself.

I ended up bouncing around to a lot of different therapists. I just didn’t really connect with them, and I didn’t think they could help me at all. As I got older, though, I started to understand therapy more and accept it, and I realized that therapists are just normal people that are trained to help other people — not these evil people I’d built up in my mind.

I actually got pretty close with one of my last therapists, and he helped me a lot. Some of the problems, like the anger issues, just went away as I matured, but as I got older, we started talking more about anxiety. I’d get embarrassed when I had to talk in class, or I would get nervous playing team sports like soccer. If I made one mistake, I would completely start overthinking.

That therapist really talked me down to the basics of it. He said that if I get nervous, I should remember that no one’s gonna be judging you, and that mistakes are part of learning. He definitely helped me out.

When quarantine came around, I wasn’t really going out and doing much, so I kind of stopped needing a therapist and stopped going. I haven’t gone back since, but I’d definitely be open to doing it again. I think it would be healthy for me. I feel like everyone has their own problems and no one is perfect, so having someone else to be able to relate to that and give you advice is something really special, especially for younger people dealing with the stress of school and sports.

I know that older generations struggle more with opening up about mental health, because that’s kind of the way they grew up. It was like, you keep your own problems in a box and push them away. But I definitely think for today’s generation, it’s easier now to open up. Some of my friends are really casual about telling me what they’re dealing with, but at the same time, some of them aren’t. That’s just the way it is.

I think it’s different with boys too because of this standard of “being a man.” You might deal with embarrassment and things like that, but even with that, it’s definitely becoming an easier and easier thing to do.

Over the summer, one of my friends actually opened up to me about his mental health. It was really special because he’d never done that before. I helped him out and it’s become a better relationship. And I’d do that for any of my friends — if they came up to me, I’d be like, “OK, let’s sit down, let’s talk about this.” As long as you have some real friends that you’re able to sit down and talk to, I’m 100 percent certain they’ll be able to respond positively and help you out.

Whether you’re in therapy or not, I just think it’s important for everyone to know that there are always people that love and care for you. If you’re ever struggling with something, you can open up to them and get help.

As told to Maggie Ryan

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